Learn to Remember
by DeathBerrry
Summary: His heart is broken. Her soul is tattered; But who is this mysterious man on the other side of the gate living in London? What could he possibly do to help mend the young boy's soul? Ed x Winry postCOS CHAP. THREE UP
1. Tobira no Mukō e

_A/N: Alright, first chapter up! Please read and review, I would like to hear what you think, although it's going to take a while before the story takes onto the plot. Just a side note, I starting writing this in Al's point of view, but as you can see in the next chapter, I will change to Ed's. Throughout the story anyone could be telling the story, i'll make sure to tell you in some part of it._

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_**Disclaimer**_**: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or the Full Metal Alchemist, or any characters, etc...**

**Chapter One: Living the Curse of the Gate  
**

_Only a month had passed since Ed and Al had passed through the gate for the final time, now living with Noah in a small, one bedroom apartment. Things were extremely hard on the boys; Although Noah and Ed had found a small job, it worked the two of them crazy and paid horribly. Noah worked at an animal shelter near the apartment, as Edward worked in a tiny lab always studying. But he just used to lab, hoping maybe with the material he was given, to track down the bomb brought from the other side, or would help find an answer to somehow reach the other side of the gate once again. The three of them couldn't afford school for Al to continue his studies, however Al would travel to the library to study as much as he could for three hours each day.  
_

_The mornings were always the same; Alphonse would wake up first. They had a full size bed in the one bedroom, with a couch in the main room. Al and Noah always wanted Ed to use the bed, because he was always so tired, and always had trouble falling asleep on couch. Al would sleep with him on the bed some days, but on the days when Edward was exhausted, and needed as much sleep he could get, Al would sleep in the living room on the floor with piled blankets. Noah slept on the couch, as Al thought she needed the sleep more then himself, as well. Last night, Al had fallen asleep besides his brother; Not only had Ed been tired the night before, but also because he was a bit more depressed then his normal 'sulk'.  
_

**September 1924**

My eyes slowly slid open, looking at the celling with a small fan circling us. I turned on my side toward Ed; He was on his side facing me, he had told me he never liked facing the wall when he slept, always the middle of the bed. His hair still in a lose pony tail from the day before, with many strands escaping from the tie stuck to his warm face, that pulled his hair back. His eyes closed gently, with his head only half on the pillow, the rest on his folded hands. Huge dark bags still under his eyes, smaller then yesterday, yet still pretty bad. I watched him breathe in and out steadily. If I were to let him, he probably could of slept for the entire day, and the following next three. I would wake up around seven in the morning everyday, and was Noah and brother's alarm clock really, since we couldn't afford our own. I sat up, peering outside looking at the sun to make sure it was time for my friends to wake up. It hurt me to have to wake both of them up at such an early hour, especially brother. I starred at him for a few minutes longer, giving him as long as I could to sleep, before reaching my hand over his shoulder and shaking him as gently as I could.

"Brother, it's time." I whispered. He didn't move. I repated the motion, talking a bit louder the second time. He had always been a heavy sleeper, but would wake quick. Slowly his eyes slid open, looking at his hands underneath his head. He moaned slightly, before asking, "Now?" in a soft, tired voice.

"Yes." I answered.

"Just a few more minutes, Al..." He barley whispered. It took me a few moments to realize what he had said; He spoke so softly, it was hard to hear him.

"Nah, you've better get up before your late again." I sat up, as he rolled on his back, eyes still closed as he stretched, then moaned again.

"What's wrong?" After a moment, he answered in a voice almost inaudible.

"My auto mail. My arm hurts..." I didn't know how to help that one. I stood up, dragging the blanket down to his waist.

"Five minutes." I told him walking out of the room, leaving the door open as light poured inside. I heard him roll back over to his side, pulling up the covers as I left the dark, cold room. Most of the time, Noah, like always would wake up to the sound of the bed rustling. When I reached the couch, her eyes were open, lost in thought. I touched her arm, as she nodded telling me she would be up in a second. I wasn't the greatest at cooking but since Noah always made dinner, I attempted the breakfast. I made toast with burnt eggs most of the time, except when the three of us where rushing and all I could find was bread and orange juice. I grabbed three eggs from our small fridge, breaking them on the hot pan. I watched as Noah left for the bathroom to change into her white gown, and get ready. She would always get moving faster then her body wanted to in the mornings. I waited a few moments, starring at the three eggs after I finally heard brother get up from his bed to change. I dozed off into a day dream.

In the corner of my eye, I saw brother dressed, standing in his door way, still half asleep. I remember, he had always used to be so happy in the mornings, and really was a bit of a morning person. But since we started living on the other side of the gate, and as time went by, my brother turned into a zombie. Every time I was around him he was out of it, either lost in thought, half asleep or both. I knew he was happy since I had crossed the gate, but his joy turned to depression. I was worried about him. Not only did he look horrible these days, but he had started to complain about his auto mail. I noticed he became off balance, along with him complaining about pain in his right arm. I tried to act as normal and optimistic as possible whenever I was with him. I tried not to bring out his temper, because it seemed to only cause him more pain. Though it was hard since the only three feelings he ever shared since we started living here was exhaustion, his temper and depression.

"Hey, are you going to fix your hair?" I teased him, breaking the silence. Still in that lose pony tail, but I guess I shouldn't have asked that; He was already in a bad mood.

"Shut up, Al. Yeah I'm gonna fix it." He snapped walking to the couch, to sit down. I guess he didn't get the joke. I secretly watched him pull out the hair tie, and tie another thick pony tail. I had felt like I almost lost part of my relationship with Ed, especially as time moved on. I told my self my brother was just going through a hard time in his life, and things would pass. Noah then walked into the room, stealing a peek at Ed sitting on her bed, or the couch as I would call it. I guess she noticed his tense face, by asking, "Ed, are you alright this morning?" He looked over at her, simply answering with a slow, dazed nod. I Scoped up the eggs I burnt, placing them each on a plate, and walked over to Noah with her breakfast, then Ed, handing him a plate. He grabbed it with his right hand with out looking at me. As I let go once I felt he had grasped it, but heard it crash the floor with a load groan following.

"Brother?" I asked turning around to see his egg laying on the floor in the puddle of broken glass. He had grabbed his metal arm, in pain.

"Edward, what's wrong?" Noah asked, placing her egg next to him on the couch, as she knelt down to pick up the broken plate. It looked pretty clear. Something was wrong with his auto mail, and there was no one in this world who could help him.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just drop it." He spoke after a minute. He let go of his arm, taking a deep breath and helped Noah pick up the plate. I ran to grab the garbage, along with my egg for Ed. After we had cleaned the mess, the three of us with out speaking another word, I handed Ed my egg to his left hand. Usually he would argue for me to eat it, but today he grabbed my egg with out hesitation. Noah had only finished half of her egg when she had decided she was full. She dragged the can back into the kitchen, then coming back into the living room starring at Ed and I.

"I guess I better go, see you guys tonight." She told us, forcing a smile. Brother nodded with me following him in the process. She grabbed her bag, opened the big wooden door and slammed it close. We wouldn't see her again until tonight. Ed stood up, after finishing his egg on the couch, and walked it to the kitchen sink. I waited in the living room, starring at Noah's half eaten egg. Ed returned to the room, not looking at me once, grabbing his coat even though it was the middle of Summer. As he walked toward the door leaving for work, I waited for a good-bye or something. When I realized I wasn't getting anything, I found the words, "Good luck, brother..." leave my mouth. As he opened the door, I watched him nod his head from behind. He slammed the door closed disappearing into the hallway. When would he stop sulking? He was obviously homesick, but there was something else. His current mood had turned into his personality. I missed the Edward Elric, who had used to be my brother back in Risembool; Back when we were searching for the stone.

Who was he now? This new world had turned him into a monster. I sighed as I picked up Noah's plate, walking into the kitchen. I had three hours before my trip to the library. Three hours alone, so I could sulk myself with out anyone watching.

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___A/N: Sorry it was a short chapter. I hope to make the rest much, (not too much) but much longer. I tried to look over everything best I could, sorry for any mistakes! Please understand, Alphonse is quite homesick too, not as much as his brother, yet he tried to hide it when he's around him. Although it might not look like it, Al believes if he acts strong for Ed, it may help. And please no flames, Ed and Al are brothers, and don't have much money; Noah and Ed only make enough money for one bed as well as a one bedroom apartment. Yes, sometimes the brothers sleep in the same bed. Anyway, reviews are gladly appreciated.  
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Be ready for the next chapter!  
-deathberrry_


	2. Ready Steady Go

_A/N: Thnks for those of you who have reviewed! This is still a bit of a shorter chap. This is now in Ed's point of view..._

_**Disclaimer**_**: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or the Full Metal Alchemist, or any characters, etc...**

**Chapter Two: Ready, Steady, Go!**

Work was hard today, I was told to look through a pile of papers my father had written, for the 2nd time that week, looking for some sort of answer that could possibly help with tracking down that annoying bomb. A few days ago when I was first asked to read through it, I actually had a bit of hope, but realized it was all crap, garbage I already knew that wouldn't take us anywhere. So many pages, I really wasn't into re-reading it. I was so tired, my eye lids were so heavy waiting for me to just let them close-

"Edward, are you alright Mr. Elric sir?" A young girl asked. I spun around in my chair to find Jeszica, a brainy girl who worked on a desk next to me. Although she wasn't Scieszka, the girl sure did remind me of her.

"Yeah..." I answered turning back to my work. I could feel she was still looking right at me, and it was bugging the crap out of me! "Why...?" I finally asked. I had been trying to avoid talking to her anymore, being as unsocial as I could, but with her looking at me like that...

"Because you look horrible! Worse then yesterday!" I stopped what I was doing, grunted and turned my attention back to Jeszica, frowning. "Are you sick or something? Your so pale, an' your eyes-"

"Dammit! Shut up Jeszica, worry about yourself!" I snapped at the girl, turning back to the papers. I didn't care if I hurt her feelings, she had no right, and no clue what I was going through, and she can't just go around making remarks about me! Although, Al had been saying "Shut up" was becoming one of my favorite words. I pushed the thought out of my mind, trying to get back to my job when that little annoying voice of hers interrupted me again.

"Edward-"

"What?!"

"I'm sorry... But maybe... Maybe you should-"

"Maybe I should, what?!" She had my full attention now, and I was so ready to punch her in the face. She was annoying the crap out me. I was looking at her straight in the face waiting for her to talk again. Her face became soft, and her eyes relaxed on her face. She wasn't going to cry, was she? My heart dropped as I tried to calm down. I took a deep breath turning back toward my work. "What?" I asked again as calmly as I could.

"Nothing, sir. Just take care of yourself." She whispered, walking back to her desk. I tried to forget the event that had just occurred, but it was hard to just forget. I found single tear stream down my cheek. It frightened me, so unexpected. Why was I crying? I hadn't cried in such a long time. I wiped it away, hoping no one had saw.

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"Mr. Elric? Edward, sir. Edward!" I heard a voice.

"Now?" I found myself ask, opening my eyes, slowly.

"Now, Sir? Mr. Elric, you fell asleep! Wake up, before "you know who" finds out!" My eyes shot open, as I sat up clueless of what had happened.

"I fell asleep? Where am I-" I was at work, I must of passed out with in the last hour, while reading the papers! Even how tired I had been the last month, I've never fallen asleep in work. I turned to the man who had woken me up; I had never seen him before. I guess maybe he was someone higher up then myself, or maybe he knew my dad. That would be the reason why he knew my name. But the fact he had just woken me up, before anyone found out, saved my job. I looked at my papers, then at the time.

"Thank you." I said to the man, forcing a smile. "It won't happen again-" I stopped talking, confused by the man's face. He was studying my own. There was a strange look in his eye... Was it foolishness... No, I trusted the man's eyes. Concern? Possibly.

"I think you should go home, take the rest of the day off. I'll cover for you." He continued not talking his eyes off mine. I looked at him strangely.

"No, I couldn't do that, thank you, but I really must get back to work-"

"You know if that happens again, you'll definitely lose your job.." The man interrupted. I nodded. "You look, tired. Just go home and rest. Your Hohenheim's son, correct?" My stomach dropped, and I looked away, but nodded again. The man seemed to light up, and I could tell he was dieing to ask me more questions but was holding back. I was glad he was too, I didn't feel like being interviewed, and I think the man could see it, too. "Then please go home, we can talk another time. Feel better, Mr. Elric." I guess if this man knew that bastard, and was giving me an opportunity to rest, I should take it. After all, I _did _trust him. I signed and took a deep breath, then stood up and stretched. I could tell the man was now studying my right arm; He must of knew all about me, where I was from, my brother, and my general situation. I could talk to him another time, right now all I was ready to do was go home to sleep.

"Thank you." I told him packing away a few papers into my bag. He nodded, as I pushed in my chair at the desk and walked down out of the office. It was then I had just realized, I didn't even know the man's name. I checked out of the building, once again on the side walk I took everyday. Cars zoomed by past me. It was when a huge truck passed, honking it's horn I finnaly realized I had past my apartment. I really was more tired then I thought. The horn had startled me, causing me to drop my bag. As I reached down to pick it up with my right hand, a great pain soared through my body. What was wrong with my auto mail? It seemed to act up whenever I would use it? What was I going to do?  
Once I reached the appartment, and placed my bag down and locked the door, I called for Alphonse. He should be home about now.

"Al! You here?!" I yelled through out the room. No answer. As exhaustion crept upon me again, I lost interest in my brother as I walked toward the bathroom. Maybe a shower would do me good, possibly wake me up a bit. I sat down on the couch, to relax, dropping my coat on the floor, as I layed down looking at the celling. "I'll relax here for a bit before I shower..." I told myself outloud. I had planned to wait a bit just to see if Al was around to tell him I was home early. But it wasn't long before I had passed out on the couch, leg dangling off and all. I was out of it.

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"Edward, you okay? Ed!" I felt my eye lids lift.

"Mmm..." I breathed out, turning over on my back, on what I thought was my bed, shutting my eyes again.

"Ed, your okay, right?" I squeezed my eyes shut harder, not wanting to move, or talk in this case. I felt so tired, I couldn't remember where I was, I just wanted to be left alone and sleep. The voice that had been calling my name processed through my mind, and I realized it was Noah. "Edward Elric, answer me!" Her voice became stern filled with nervousness at the same time. I forced an eye open, to see her face looking back at mine.

"Mmhmm, I'm great... Just... Just 5 more minutes..." I murmerd slightly, still totally out of it.

"I've been calling your name for the last few minutes! Why are you home? I don't understand..." I wasn't sure what was wrong with me, why couldn't I wake up? I began to hear her voice clearly, and could feel her hand on my shoulder...

"ED!" My eyes finally snapped open, and I sat up. How long was I out like that? The room had one light on, even though it was still bright outside. Noah was beside the couch looking at me, waiting for an answer.

"Mmmm... What time is it?" I asked trying to wake up. She let out a huge breath, relieved I had asked a question and was ok.

"About three in the afternoon. How long have you been here? I just came home from the shelter to grab some late lunch, and found you. I just didn't understand why you where sleeping here.. And was home from work so early." She answered; Her voice was shaking, not stable at all. I was out for a full three hours, never had taken that shower I wanted. I sat back on the couch for support, as I started explaining what had happened at work, and why I had passed out on the couch.

"Have you ever heard of that man?" She asked looking away as she stood up, gaining her voice back. I shook my head no, but since she had turned her head already, and hadn't seen me shake, I spoke up with a loud, "No."

"So you have the rest of the day off then?" I opened my mouth to speak when she continued. "I better go then." I nodded, resting my head on the back of the couch looking up at the grey ceiling. I heard her ruffle a plastic bag, probably collecting last night's left overs, (chicken soup) for her three o'clock lunch. My mind drifted off to somewhere it hadn't in a long time; Risembool. I didn't even feel my self close my eyes and take a deep breath, thinking back to a Sunday afternoon, so long ago.

_I was running, down a huge hill not to far from our house. The grass was so long, it hadn't been cut in months. Weeds that had grew between the grass ripped off from my shoes stomping on them as I passed by. The lake wasn't far ahead as I tried to beat Al, running close behind me. I could hear Winry screaming, "I WASN'T READY!" from behind us. She didn't hear Al say, "Go!" I was so close to the lake, I was winning! I could almost touch it, so close... But suddenly, a small rock appeared from out of the ground. I couldn't stop, as the brown heal of my shoe touched it, causing me to fly over grass. I flew so high, almost as if it was in slow-motion. I was thinking how foolish I was; Tripping over that damn rock. Now I was defiantly gonna lose. Then, I hit the ground, my hands hit first as I had put them out in front of me. Mom always told me and Al; If you ever fall, put out your hands so you don't injure your head. I closed my eyes as I heard Al stop running, almost running into the lake himself._

_"Brother! What happened?!" He yelled running toward me. I heard Winry stop, and bend down on her knees, looking down at my head. I opened my eyes, looking at my hands, filled with a mixture of dirt, grass and blood. I sat up, cross-legged looking at them. Although it hurt, I didn't care. I had lost our race..._

_"Ed, are you ok? You like, flew in the air!" Winry giggled, smiling as she looked away. My hands trembled, as I wiped them on the grass.  
_

_"Yeah. I call a re-match!" I yelled, jumping back up. "Last one to Winry's has to sleep in Den's bed tonight!"_

_"Kay!" The two answered getting on their feet as well. We walked to the end of the lake, taking our stances.  
_

_"Brother, it's your turn to tell us when to go." Al reminded me cheerfully. I nodded._

_"Your ready this time, right Winry?" She nodded. "Ok then, Ready, Steady, Go!" And we took off, running the fast as we could, up the grassy hill, around the huge oak tree, past our house, to Winry's. That's right Winry... I did start to wonder, if I would ever see my mechanic again. I kinda... I kinda hoped maybe-_

"Edward, I'm leaving. Take care of your self." Noah had interupted my day dream, as fast as it came. I looked up opening my eyes back to reality. I waved my hand in the air, taking a deep breath.

Winry. I kinda... I kinda wish I could see her... Again... Maybe. I stood up, grabbed a towel from the rack they had been drying and dragged it to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

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	3. I Will

_**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA...**_

**Chapter Three:** **I Will**

_"This stew is so cold! An' I was in the mood for something hot!"_

_"Well, you should of came home when I first called you."_

_"Mom! We did come when you called us!" She smiled, and turned back to her warm meal._

_"Here Ed, you can have mine, since I kept it warm with my hands. And I'll take yours." I smiled back at her, and with out hesitating, dug a spoonful of the stew into my mouth. Al and Winry watched me eat, as they turned their head's back to their own meal._

_"Ed, how come you get to eat the warm stew, and we don't." Winry mumbled under her breath. I let out a loud sigh before stuffing another spoonful into my mouth. When I realized she was still looking at me, and hadn't taken another bite since she had spoken last. I groaned._

_"What's wrong now, Ed?" My mom asked, looking back from the kitchen._

_"Not'ing..." I looked down. Then back at Winry. Al had just continued to eat not paying attention to either me or Win. "Winry." She nodded. "You could have the rest of my stew... Let's switch._

_"Really Ed?"_

_"Mmhmm."_

_"Ed!"_

_"What?"_

"ED!"

"What..."

"Brother wake up! Your constantly mumbling!" It was just a dream... A dream from Risembool. I opened my eyes to see Al next to me in the bed, hiding his ears under his pillow. Alphonse always told me I did talk in my sleep when I dreamt, and I guess I must of been doing it pretty loudly for Al to get annoyed like this. I quickly became slightly embarrassed.

"Uhh, I'm sorry Al. How loud was I?" I slurred, sleep still in my voice.

"Just go to sleep, it's fine..." He breathes out softly. I turned on my back looking up to the ceiling, knowing it would be hard to fall back to sleep. Winry. Why was it I kept having these old memories of her. I did start to wonder, where she was and how she was doing...

"Al, you asleep?" No answer. I felt bad for waking my sleeping brother up, but I needed an answer. I shook him. "Alphonse, wake up."

"I'm awake, brother."

"Al, do you ever think of Winry?" He chuckled slightly and turned on his side toward me. "What?" I asked, blushing slightly. Good thing the dark hide my red face.

"Ed, why have you?" My face turned even more red, as it grew even hotter.

"No! I mean, have you?! Why would I?!" I just lost it.

"Brother, you were thinking about her..."

"No I wasn't, _Al_! I was asking you! Your such a pain sometimes! Good night!"

I turned on my side away from him, and closed my eyes, already regretting what I had said. A single minute passed before I heard Al's steady breathing, and he was already asleep.

"Sorry Al..." He didn't answer. I sighed, as I felt a single tear fall down my cheek. The second time that week, and ai couldn't help to ask myself why I was crying. I wasn't any in physical pain, or mental... I thought. So then why did I silently cry my self to sleep that night? I was the Fullmetal Alchemist, trapped in a world with no alchemy, and only tears to put me to sleep.

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_A/N: That was in Ed's point of view again, (if you didn't know!) Also, if you didn't figure it out, I started out with Edward's dream, and Al woke him up... I didn't fully proof-read it yet, so forgive any mistakes! Sorry!! I had fun typing with the two brothers, I'm sorry still that was a shorter chapter though! Please read and review!_


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